Laid you to rest..

Today we put you and your ashes to rest.

Should I have kept you home where I could see you and feel you, or is that thought weird?

Would that have helped me in the long run or just made me more depressed than I already am.

As I saw all those who love you gather around and cry because we miss you all I could think of was why did it have to be you.

When I was asked to say a few words as your sister and second mother I couldn’t even open my mouth without feeling like I was going to choke or throw up from the agony I felt. I felt calm, at peace, but at the same time like my world was ending and I was plunging deeper and deeper into an eternal abyss of darkness.

We had so many plans and dreams and now what am I supposed to do if you aren’t there to make them a reality. It barely has been two months and it feels like an eternity since the last time I heard your laughter.

I miss you…. I miss you so much…. I love you …. I love you so much…. I just want to scream to the world why did it have to be you. I hope you miss me too.

I Miss You Everyday

I miss you..

I miss your loud laugh and how happy it sounded and resonated throughout the house.

I miss the way I would hear your footsteps when you walked over to my room.

I miss the way you snored when you were sleeping.

I miss how you would walk into my room to stand my the air conditioner because you were hot.

I miss how you would come into my room and lay on my bed to annoy me or just spend time with me.

I miss you asking for my inhaler because yours was empty.

I miss you yelling at the dog for barking or yelling at the game when you got mad.

I miss you asking for money for a new game or weed and acting all cute.

I miss when you were hungry and always asked ” there’s no snacks?” very loudly.

I miss when you would send me random fan art of games and anime’s you thought I would like.

I miss when you would ask me to watch movies with you or shows with you.

I miss when you would ask me when I was out to bring you food.

I miss your smile. you hair, the way your room smelled, you voice, your warmth, your advice.

I Miss You…

Tears for the not forgotten.

Sitting waiting for class to start. The sounds of the paino playing a sad but lovely melody fills the halls… Which brings upon memories of my loved ones who are now gone. I try not to cry but tears are …

Oreo

Today was the last time I saw your beautiful face.

The last time I heard you barking.

The last time I held you in my arms.

The last time I hugged you and you liked my hand.

The last time I will ever see you.

The last time my days are filled with happiness.

Now all I feel is heart ache and I miss you so much it hurts to think abiut you and not think about you.

I wish you were here.

I wish I could see you again.

I love you…

I am sorry…

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry I could not do better.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry I couldn’t give you everything you deserved.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry for making you go through so much pain.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry I am not rich enough to pay for treatment.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry and hope you can forgive because I love you so much.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry that you are suffering and I wish I could take you suffering away.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry for being so selfish and not wanting to give you up.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry for loving you so much that I am hold you back from leaving me.

I am a horrible person…

I love you so much and I am sorry that love cant heal you.

I am a horrible person…

I’m sorry for being a horrible person and I hope you know that the thought of you leaving is breaking my heart into pieces.

I am a horrible person who loves you so much it hurts and I promise not to make the same mistake twice and get attached to anything ever again…..

I’m sorry Oreo and I love you…